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  • kris ng

100% Dark Chocolate & I

On our way to meet Rob, Jade and I saw a chocolate shop. I stopped. “A-Ma wants chocolate,” I said. My Mum had specifically requested for 100% dark chocolate because “it is very good for you” in her words.



Jade stopped a few steps ahead of me. She spun around, her brows still knitted. 


“Can I have a chocolate egg too?” She asked, somehow managing to make her question sound more like a demand. 


“Only one,” I said. 


***


Ten minutes ago, we were at Challenger, the electronics store. I placed two printer cartridges at the cashier and was fishing out my bank card to make payment when the man behind the counter asked if I was a member. 


“No,” I said. 


“Would you like to get one of these with your purchase today?” He asked, pushing a tray of twelve palm-sized Doraemon dolls even closer in front of Jade’s nose. I cursed under my breath. 


“No, thank you,” I said, remembering to smile. 


“Awwwww. Mummy, can I have one please? Please-y please ple-eee-ase?” Jade pleaded, looking at me with puppy dog eyes, palms pressed together in front of her chest for full effect.


“No, Jade,” I said. 


In a split second, her adorable puppy face gave way to a hissing cat's, complete with fisted hands and a foot stomp. 



“There are so many cute things I see that I cannot have,” she grumbled.


“I know, right,” I acknowledged dispassionately as I led her, pouting, out of Challenger.

We didn't exchange another word until the chocolate store. 


***


She shoved a chocolate egg in front of me. “It says 80%. Is it okay? As in, is it sweet?” Jade asked. 


“It is on the bitter side,” I answered. 


“Are you getting that for A-Ma?” She asked, pointing to the 100% dark chocolate bar I picked out for my Mum. 


“Yes. A-Ma’s 100% so it is the most bitter. It has zero sugar,” I spelled it out for her benefit. 


Hm. It has no love,” she stated.  


“Huh? What do you mean ‘it has no love’?” I genuinely have no idea what she meant. 


Her eyes widened. “It has no love because it is not sweet at all!” She said, both hands up by her side, looking exasperated that she had to explain such an obvious fact to me.  “Just like you,” she added. 


Wait, what did she say?!? I did a double take. 


Her comment left me flabbergasted and amazed in equal measure. 


“Well, it is very good for you,” I retorted with the only thing I could think of and paid for the chocolates. 


We continued to walk and I chuckled at the thought of how her remark was both amusing and cutting at once. 


How did she even come up with it? But she had, of course, generated many witty remarks and comeback lines over the years, a few were even quite thought provoking. Most, I would like to think, were original. Some, I know, were inspired or ripped straight off Bluey, an Australian animated television series or whatever she was reading at the time.


What about you? What had a kid (yours or not) said to you that was out of this world? How did it land on you?


PS: I kept my word and bought her a chocolate egg, one with a good percentage of love, I must add.

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